I compare myself to other people, I try not to and the Bible says not to but…it is a human failing that we all have, even if only secretly.
I got injured just after New Year and couldn’t run for about six weeks. To some of my friends this would seem like good news, but I struggled with it. Fortunately during this time I was able to go out for short and slow walks with the kids, which I recorded on Strava so that I was still working towards my goal of 1000 miles in a year. This kept me motivated to get back running to clock up more miles later on.
But it had a downside too. I was watching the athletes that I follow on Strava, including some that live in my village, getting PBs and taking my crowns* whilst I couldn’t defend them. *A crown in Strava language is when you are the fastest over certain segments of commonly used running routes. I am not competitive at all, except when it comes to running or swimming. It doesn’t bother me that Pigeon won all the games of ludo and snakes and ladders the other day. It does bother me that ‘S’ has taken all but one of my local crowns whilst I was injured. It bothers me that this bothers me!!
‘S’ is a lovely person and an amazing athlete who I really like. Why should it bother me that she is faster than me? She is about 15-20 years younger than me, has no kids and has more time/freedom to train than me. It is silly to even compare myself to her. Then there is ‘R’, who is a parent but has a wife to watch his kids whilst he goes out training for an hour or two at a time. I am leading a different life to these lovely people, I cannot compare myself to them!
I am leading the life that God has set out for me. It is very different to the majority of people that I know, actually pretty much everyone I know! I am on a journey learning to accept these differences and not to compare myself to others. My focus needs to be on being grateful that I can run at all as a single parent to two children with special needs; and grateful that one will usually run beside me whilst I push the other in a special off-road wheelchair.
Our life may not be as we hoped, dreamed or like anyone else’s we know, but we need to learn to make the best of what we have. I’m working on it…